Affective bonds are constantly evolving and couple crises are usually part of this natural evolution of the bond. If these crises are resolved satisfactorily, the couple and the relationship will come out of it stronger, since they will have learned and developed new strategies to solve problems and challenges.
For other couples, experiencing a crisis profoundly conditions the stability of each one’s feelings, causing the relationship to become complicated and stagnant, causing the crisis to feed back and become more acute.
Contrary to popular belief, the most common problems in relationships are not only related to arguments and outbursts of anger. Sometimes, they manifest themselves in a much more subtle and complicated way to detect, through habits that can even be assumed as something natural, becoming normalized.
The first step before solving these situations is to recognize the symptoms that something is not going well in the relationship, in these lines you will find a summary of the problems in couple relationships that usually manifest themselves more frequently in couples therapy sessions.
So, let’s see what are those main reasons why problems can arise in a relationship.
#1 Passive-aggressive communication and use of guilt
This problem has to do with a dysfunctional communication formula, in which one person implies that the other has reasons to feel guilty, but without fully explaining why.
In this way, in the face of ambiguity and lack of communication, the other person feels that she has indeed done something wrong, and feels guilty without knowing exactly what behavior she should correct.
In addition, as this conflict management style avoids dealing with the underlying issue that has led one of the partners to be angry, it is easy to never create the necessary communication situations to prevent conflicts from continuing to occur.
Jealousy is an unequivocal sign of insecurity and low self-esteem that cause the destruction of relationships when total control of the other is intended, even overriding their will.
Normally, jealousy has to do with self-esteem problems and with a series of dysfunctional beliefs about how relationships work, which can generate other problems beyond this. Usually, one of the members experiences it, which can lead to isolation and a lack of intimacy between the two.
#3 Incompatibilities in the way of living sexuality
Sexuality is another of the important focuses of couple problems, and it presents several peculiarities that can make it difficult to even try to fix this kind of discomfort.
On the one hand, sex is frequently a taboo subject even among those who are in a relationship, and on the other, there is the fear of exposing one’s own vulnerabilities (or, at least, what is perceived as one’s own vulnerability) or of causing the other person feels bad.
Several of the most common problems related to this are the difference between the libido of one person and the libido of the other, the lack of knowledge about what the other likes, and the fear of saying what we like.
Discordances in terms of tastes and preferences in intimate relationships of this kind can have effects beyond the bedroom, even being expressed in moments of public conversation, in the way of relating to the other in any context, etc.
#5 Problems of coexistence and distribution of responsibilities
Beyond love, the small details of coexistence on a day-to-day basis are of great importance.
In this sense, another of the most common couple problems is discussions about the assignment of tasks that have to do with maintaining the home or with the upbringing and care of children, if you are a father or mother.
#6 Lack of a common life project
Couples who only focus on experiencing the here and now tend to suffer from these types of problems sooner or later.
It is about the absence of a long-term plan to live together, something that generates uncertainty and discussions when seeing that the other person took for granted a life project that we have always rejected because we had not discussed it before.
Infidelity is also another common cause of a crisis in a relationship. Normally, infidelity derives from other problems present in the relationship, which wear it down and encourage a third person to make an appearance.
Overcoming infidelity can be an insurmountable problem, so in some cases, the couple needs to seek professional guidance, to regain trust in the relationship and solve the basic problems that the infidelity has revealed. Couples ends up using spy apps or phone tracker services to keep an eye on their better half jeopardizing the relationship further.
The Final Say
Good health in the couple goes through constant communication. Any discrepancy must be resolved together, learning to direct conflicts towards a neutral territory that always takes into account the needs of the other.
Keep in mind that differences in character and personality trigger relationship problems and conflicts that are difficult to counteract without dialogue. The values and behavior of one do not always fit the opinions of the other, requiring extra respect and understanding to overcome differences.
Therefore, one of the pillars on which the good health of the relationship is based is the development of effective communication, which helps to resolve the problems and conflicts that appear in the relationship, the result of its natural evolution.