For all divorcing people going through the rough days of a break-up is exhausting, yet overwhelming. Dividing property, moving homes, developing a parenting plan, and dealing with emotional trauma is always tough on everybody. Between times, it may seem like you cannot come to an understating with your ex-to-be. Nevertheless, there is at least one issue that you two must agree on and it is all about keeping your kids and their best interests in the focus of your attention whatever decision you make during these dark days.
But how can you put your kids first when your wellbeing is at the risk? How can you and your partner be on the same wavelengths when it comes to settling child-related matters all while you have a hard time interacting with each other?
For you to understand better how to act in accordance with your kids’ best interests, it may be wise to get a deeper insight into the basic rights they have first. Use this information as a great motivation for your every decision and act. This is how you can be sure that your children’s wellbeing is always your number one priority and nothing is going to change this.
What Rights Do Kids Deserve?
We are not talking here about the fundamental rights that all people have like the right to life, educational rights, etc. Here, we want to place emphasis on the rights that all kids deserve to have when their moms and dads are preparing a divorce packet. Overall, they deserve:
To maintain contact with both parents
If both adults have positive effects on their kids’ development, then these little ones deserve the chance to maintain healthy and strong relationships with them. Therefore, other people in those kids’ life should never keep them from having this connection.
To maintain relationships with family members
Kids should never be forced to choose sides whatever it takes. They have the right to keep in touch with all relatives – grandparents, cousins, etc. Neither parents nor other adults should influence their opinions about their family members. Thereby, bad-mouthing any family member in front of your little ones is unacceptable.
In addition to the fact that adults shouldn’t work against good extended family relationships, they should even pull together to find effective ways to help their kids build them. Very often, it requires the involvement of both spouses to make sure that their kids’ emotional connection with other relatives grows strong through thick and thin.
To live free of fighting between their mom and dad
All kids deserve to develop in a favorable environment where there is no room for conflict between adults. Keep this in mind and do your best to pull together with your spouse to protect your little ones from being burdened by any tension between you two.
Most probably, you will have to communicate with your partner on the quite particularly during the early days of your divorce when your every conversation is very likely to get heated. This is how you can prevent your kids from accidentally witnessing your fighting. When your conflicts go out of control, it makes sense to put calling and texting on pause. Getting an online divorce will eliminate the need to meet your spouse face-to-face for every little thing.
To be free from being messengers between adults
Just like your kids shouldn’t be aware of all your quarrels, they shouldn’t serve as messengers between you and your spouse. Even if both sides have agreed on settling all issues amicably to get a quick divorce, they shouldn’t put the burden of communicating any information on their kids; otherwise, they are likely to unconsciously shift adult responsibilities on their little ones. So, it is in the best interest of all to find an effective way of exchanging information with your partner without the need to involve your kids in the details of your case.
To not to be your sympathetic ear
All teens whose parents are going to get a divorce online in Virginia shouldn’t be treated as a sounding board on no condition. If you and your spouse need someone to pour your heart to, then you should better try counseling or join a support group instead of bearing hard on your family. And, under no circumstances, allow your kids to carry the emotional burden of your own adult problems.
Even if you go out of your way to remain in good spirits when talking to your kids, the latter ones are still very likely to notice when you feel stressed-out, anxious, or desperate. To prevent them from fretting about your problems, teach them how to manage their worry effectively.
To speak about what bothers them
Kids have the right to state their views about their domestic troubles. See to it that they have someone to talk about what is going on in their family without any fear or sense of quilt. Your children should know that they are loved, they should be sure that their family can hear them out any time they need this. Be ready to help your kids deal with their negative emotions in a positive way, even if this means that you have to seek help from a therapist.
To have a sense of stability
All kids deserve to have a life as they used to have before their parents decided to break up. When a marital breakdown is inevitable, they have the right to know about this decision long before the documents are filed.
Even if you are a hundred percent sure that your kids deserve these rights, you will have to move heaven and earth to put them into practice. Do your best to communicate with your ex-to-be effectively, look for ultimate solutions, and stay mindful whatever the circumstances. No matter how you approach co-parenting, what matters most is how well you provide your little ones with their rights. So and in no other way, you can secure a happy life for your kids.
Greg Semmit has years of experience working with different types of legal documents and writing about Family Law for educational purposes. Currently, he is working at OnlineDivorcer company, where he writing blog articles about divorce and divorce cases. In his free time, he likes roaming the streets of New York with his Olympus taking photos of the best spots in the city.